Mum’s the word

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She’s a creative copywriter, epic list writer and mama of two brilliantly-named (Woody and Bertie) kids. Clemmie Telford, founder of Mother of All Lists is the sort of person that exudes positive vibes – whether through a virtual fist bump on Instagram or going large in Ibiza. In short, she’s a lover not a figher and essentially one of the mothering greats

Number of kids?
Two boys. Bertie two and half. Woody six months. Plus a shout-out to my first baby: Derek the wire-haired daschund.

Who is Peckham Mamma (her Instagram name is @peckham_mamma)?
Apart from the obvious (a Mamma from Peckham). I’m a wife, big sister, friend and daughter. My other job, when I’m not Mummying is a creative in an ad agency. Think Peggy from Madmen but hopefully a little bit sexier. I’m also a writer and sharer of lists. Four months ago I had a conversation which went something like this: ‘I do NOT want to do Mummy blogging, no way, definitely not’. Er, now that’s exactly what I’m doing. Women’s perogative right?

Worst mothering moment?
Jetting off to Thailand for a month with Bertie aged 7 weeks. It felt ambitious and exciting. In retrospect it was a disaster. Baby jet lag + post-partum bikini bod + not having a clue what we were doing + extreme humidity + everyone else having a fun normal holiday = a lot of tears.

Best mothering moment?
Popping Woody out at home, using nothing but Jaffa Cakes as drugs. Hypnobirthing is my second fave subject after food. But I’ll keep it short. My first labour was horrific. But thanks to the wonders of @londonhypnobirthing second time was everything I wanted it to be. Not beautiful or sensual. As if. Exhausting. Involving a lot of pooing and mooing. But it was calm and controlled and uneventful and I felt like superwoman afterwards.

Dinner party or play date?
Both. Isn’t the aim of parenting to keep them happy, so you can stuff your face and quoff vino. (Five words: Sunday brunch Roka Canary Wharf. Bottomless wine and sushi, plus a SOFT.PLAY.AREA – yes!).

Home or away?
Sunshine always wins for me.

Can’t live without…
(in no particular order) my boys, avocado, an iphone, all those social media Mums #parentinghtheshitoutoflife, too many pair of trainers, writing a list, sunshine.

Can’t live with…
Skipping a meal. A blatant disregard punctuality. Culouttes – I optimistically tried some on recently; they made me look like my Brownie Leader, Brown Owl.

What’s the last thing you bought?
In my head: Stan Smith Trainers, a new Diptyque candle in Bais, the Perfect denim jumpsuit and a Donna Wilson ‘Frank’ pouffe. In reality: a non-slip mat to go in the bath.

Last call?
Booking a table at the delicious Peckham Bazaar.

Most pukka thing you own?
My house. We bought it as a wreck. It cost us too much money, time and, at some points, nearly our marriage. But it’s my happy place. Entirely decorated in white and grey, now slowly being destroyed by sticky handprints and plastic toys.

Most annoying thing other mother’s say?
‘Is yours sleeping through?’ I’ve had a bad sleeper and a good one. I did nothing different. You get what you get. Don’t be smug.

Mother Of All Lists is…
A collection of honest, hopefully funny observations in the form of lists about the rollercoaster ride that is parenthood.

Why lists?
Because who can read or write more than that these days?

Mothering is…
The best hardest job in the world. And a constant surprise. I knew that it would involve looking after a small person/people. What I didn’t get is that it would utterly redefine me for the better (and my waistline for the worse).

Follow Clemmie on Instagram @Peckham_mamma

Anna Whitehouse

Founder of Mother Pukka, Anna Whitehouse likes super hero cape-making classes and dislikes the naming of celebrity couples (TomKat, Brange etc.) She tries (and often fails) to parent the shit out of life.

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Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

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